What Awaits You on the Other Side
by booksindalibrary
Summary: Bakugou was a fool for accepting Shigaraki's offer. Now his life was a wreck, but he had to try and put it back together. [Crossposted from AO3]
1. Chapter 1

Bakugou was ready to _kill_ and _rage_ and he wanted to slaughter. The animal inside of him was gnawing at his throat again, urging him to _explode._ It was happening again, that familiar fog of fury washing over him. True heroes didn't behave like this – and yet, he did.

Was he really hero material? The villains didn't think so. As they took off his muzzle, Bakugou snapped at the villain's fingers.

"Why don't you behave and listen to our offer?" The one with the shit-ton of hands asked.

Bakugou ground his teeth together. "Why don't you blow your brains out?"

The lead villain didn't even flinch. "My name is Shigaraki, and I have a proposal for you."

"I refuse."

"You don't even know-"

"Like hell I'm gonna listen to what fuckers like you have to say," Bakugou snorted. "Fuck off."

Shigaraki paused. "How would you like to be a villain?"

"I'm a hero," Bakugou said pointedly, choosing to omit the _student_ part.

"You don't have to be. Why bother?"

Bakugou's smirk promised hell on their heads. "I like the way All Might looks when he stands at the top."

"Is that all?"

Bakugou's smirk dropped. "The fuck?"

"There's more glory in being a villain, if that's what you want."

"No, there isn't. Heroes are the ones with the riches and the fame."

"There's a first for everything. They don't value you, not really."

Bakugou paused, hesitating. That was true, painfully so; the tournaments had proven how badly everyone viewed him, as some uncontrollable animal. But he wasn't, he knew that. Why could no one else see this?

"...What does your offer entail?"

~o0o~

How long had it been since he had rejected Kirishima's outstretched hand? How long since the others had tried to 'save' him? To shackle him once more to the imperialistic ideal of _heroism._ Even Deku, shitty, useless Deku, conspired against him. It made Bakugou's hands itch again.

"Bakugou," Shigaraki said, "Have you told us everything you can about UA?"

"Of course," Bakugou muttered. "That's everything." A sign of good faith; spill everything about UA, everything about the heroes. And Shigaraki wasn't disappointed. Bakugou had exceeded his expectations. The boy was a mine of information, yet another sign of how clever he was.

Bakugou greeted the world dressed in black, a blank mask covering his face. He flicked up the hood as he left, ready to make his name.

He hated his suit, he mused. Loose black clothing, with sleeves designed to fall away from his hands; slim trousers and heavy boots. He felt ridiculous, a child playing dress-up. But Shigaraki insisted. Wait until they managed to sort out his grenades, he said. You look fine, he said.

"Bakugou," one of the other villains said. "Can you get us into this place?"

Bakugou approached the door, then smirked. He easily blew it away.

~o0o~

"Kacchan is a villain?" Deku asked helplessly, staring up at the screen. The footage showed a familiar explosion tearing down a door, then villains entering the store to raid.

"Deku," Uraraka said, worried, "Is he being controlled?"

"I don't know," Deku replied, panic washing over him. He wanted to believe it, and yet he was sure this was Bakugou's own action.

Was he planning on bringing them down from the inside? If so, then Deku could easily forgive once this mess was over. But if he wasn't, if this was the path Bakugou chose-

-Was everything a lie? Did Bakugou lie when he said he wanted to be a hero?

"Kacchan..."

~o0o~

"Kill her," Shigaraki said dismissively of the girl that stood in front of Bakugou. Said child whimpered, staring up at Bakugou.

"Mummy," she cried, turning to flee. Bakugou jumped forward, grabbing her – _she was so delicate?_ Bakugou froze, hand set to explode, but his limbs refused to obey him any further.

"Bakugou. _Kill her._ " Shigaraki was insistent.

Bakugou swallowed thickly. Now his hand was shaking, his grip tightening on her arm. "My arm won't move."

Shigaraki studied him. "Why not?" Was it her quirk, he meant. Fucking Shigaraki, why the _fuck_ did he put with this shit.

Bakugou lowered his arm, suppressing the explosions. "I'm not killing her."

Shigaraki clicked his tongue. "Bakugou," he warned, "she saw what we did."

 _I need someone to erase her memories,_ Bakugou thought. He couldn't kill her. He couldn't, the very thought ruined him.

"Fuck off-"

Shigaraki slid past Bakugou. He pressed two fingers against her neck, and Bakugou could _feel_ the haunting smile he gave. "Which death is more painful?" He said the question casually, like they were discussing the weather. "Bakugou?"

Bakugou tugged her closer to him, ignoring her cries. "Don't you-"

"I'm in charge," Shigaraki said softly, closing all five fingers around her neck. Bakugou was helpless to save her.

~o0o~

Bakugou abandoned the league of villains, regretting ever leaving UA in favour of them. In idle moments, his mouth twisted around and contorted as though attempting to consume him; in active moments Bakugou would battle with his rage.

So much anger inside of him. It made him want to curl over and cry, and yet – he was Bakugou Katsuki, he _couldn't._

His dream of being a hero? Gone. He wasn't suited to be a villain. He wasn't suited for _anything._ Maybe he should just destroy everything-

Or maybe, just go vigilante.

* * *

 **first crack at a bnha fic. :S**


	2. Chapter 2

Vigilante. The idea came as a shock to him. He had never considered it as an option; all this time he had thought he would be a hero, and recently he had started to think he would be a villain.

But nothing was stopping him from being a vigilante. If he did, his only restriction would be focusing on not getting caught.

Could he do it? Of course he could. He was Bakugou Katsuki.

He stared at his hands, remembering the face of the crying girl, and wishing he could return to his parents. The thought alone made his hands tremble. He clenched them into fists tightly, gritting his teeth. No way was he going to let this rule him.

There were problems with being a vigilante, he realised. For one, he had to convince people he was on their side, and not on the villain's. For another, he had to make sure he didn't cross paths with the League of Villains again.

Don't cross paths with them? Bakugou scorned the thought. What was he, scared? He could handle them if a push came to a shove - and no doubt it would eventually, given they weren't the sort to just let him leave.

Bakugou wished he could go back in time. He had been so stupid to became a 'villain'; now he was stuck with the image of the girl disintegrating-

He gagged at the memory, clapping a hand over his mouth.

(But before he could play hero, he needed a way to survive.)

* * *

Survive, Bakugou thought. A place to stay, a way to earn income, a food source. Start off small, work his way up.

Where would he stay? He could find some unoccupied address, stay there until he gathered resources to rent his own place.

Vigilantism didn't come with a pay check. How was he going to earn money? Was he going to have to hire himself out? Get others to pay for whatever he could offer...Nothing too illegal, he hoped, but given his reputation, it was unlikely he would hired for anything good.

A hitman, Bakugou groaned. That's what he was going to be forced into. But at least that way he would be the one to choose who would live and who would die. No more crying girls to be killed-

He gritted his teeth in anger and suppressed a sob. No, he was no wimp. He wouldn't let himself cry over something in the past, he wasn't like that Deku. He was Bakugou Katsuki-

Forcing his mind away from that topic, he nodded to himself. First, find an empty house. Then, get work. And then, once he had made a name for himself, start helping people. Breaking it down like this made it sound easy, and Bakugou let himself believe it would be that simple.

 _(But he knew it wouldn't be - he had to try, and try, and try his best-)_

He was wandering the streets in a daze, heading towards the poorer part of town, where he knew abandoned buildings were. He found himself outside a tall apartment block, gazing up at it and wondering if there were any empty ones.

Should he go inside, or watch the building until nightfall? U.A. hadn't been inclined to teach their pupils how to be on the run, and Bakugou considered sending them a letter to tell them to include it in their curriculum.

He decided to watch it. Better than nothing.

* * *

"Boy," a voice said, "why're you lurking outside?"

Bakugou turned to look at the speaker. An old woman gazed back at him, hunched over her walking cane.

"I'm watching for an empty apartment," Bakugou said after a moment, seeing no point in hiding it.

The old woman grinned at him. "Eh? You on the run?" She looked at him a little closer. "...Boy, do I know you?"

"We've never met," Bakugou said shortly.

A moment longer, then the woman pointed at the apartment with her walking cane. "The top floor," she said. "Room 906. That one's empty. No furniture, though."

Bakugou stood, glaring. "If you're tricking me into something, I'll kill you," he snarled at her.

The woman grinned toothlessly at him. "I'm an old hag - killing me would be mercy."

Bakugou scowled, turning back to the building. "Well then," he grunted. "Do I need a key or anything?"

"Yes," the woman answered, holding one out to him. "Here you go."

Bakugou blinked at it, then wrapped his fingers around them. "Why-?"

"I own the apartment," the woman said, smiling at him again. "Bakugou Katsuki."

Bakugou jerked back, shocked.

"I recognise you," she said casually, amused at his reaction. "You won the U.A. sports tournament, and now you're a villain."

Bakugou gritted his teeth. "I'm not a villain."

"No one thinks that," she said. "But I believe you. You just made a foolish choice, hmm?"

"Yeah," Bakugou agreed. "A huge mistake."

"Are you still in league with the villains?"

"No. I'm out of that shit."

"Oh?"

"I'm going to try and be a vigilante," he admitted, probably saying too much but not caring anyway. So what, if the world knew his plans. He'd destroy any fucker who tries to stop him.

"Good luck." The woman nodded to herself. "My wife will be pleased to hear that."

"Your wife? Why the fuck would anyone be pleased to hear that?"

"Who knows?" The woman turned away. "In any case - stay for as long as you like."

* * *

Bakugou made his way to the apartment block, acting as though he belonged. His villain costume, at least, blended in so long as no one looked too closely.

(It was better than walking around in his hero outfit, anyway.)

He stopped in front of the apartment that woman was loaning him, glancing both ways cautiously. Satisfied no one was watching him, he unlocked the door and let himself in.

The apartment had a small kitchen, a bathroom, and a living space. Cosy, he supposed. And clean. He had expected a face full of dust, or maybe mould and rats. Not that he was going to complain.

He didn't dare turn on the lights, instead sitting in the dark, back against the wall. He took off his boots, slid out of his long coat, threw his gloves to one side, then flopped forwards.

Tomorrow he'd try to find work. But right now he just needed to sleep.

When he closed his eyes, he heard the girl's screams in his ears.

 _(Please don't-)_


End file.
